By Dayne Hudson
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Next time you're watching Harry Potter, pay special attention to the look on his face when he works out the magnitude of his magical powers.
It's pretty much the same look you have when you discover your fresh muscle gains in the mirror. The gains that can only come from bulking.
Because bulking my friend, is when the magic happens. Something you and Harry know too well.
And this much is true - you can't bulk FOREVER just as Harry can't walk around with the wand forever, pulling all sorts of box office thirsty magic 24/7.
Thus, whether it's due to a looming show or summer, it's time to cut the fat and reveal the effort all the magic has created.
In other words, it's time to shred.
So here's the 3 signs you've been bulking for too long.
1. When you wake up you're still full
Going for a big dinner? Check.
You eat more than 50% of the entree (between two people) and inhale your food well and truely after scoping out your partners dish. Check.
And all this before you've seen the desert menu...
Aw and the milkshake you had it with it? You can add another bucket of calories for that too.
But it doesn't matter you think to yourself, as you lean back and stare at your protruding stomach that looks nothing like your Facebook display picture.
"I'm bulking!" you say to your companion, as they look down in astonishment at your stomach, reminiscing on the times they could grate cheese on it.
Then, you get home, and you don't even feel like your shake before bed.
Your protein numbers are through the roof, and you feel like someone's created a large colony in your stomach big enough for Christopher Columbus to discover in his sleep.
And you wake up the next morning.....and you're still full.
And it just keeps happening.
Regularly.
Yep. Time to chop back on the fat.
2. You're Alternating Between A Few Items Of Clothing
Whether it's dinner time, time to mow the lawns, or you have sneak out briefly for some milk - full cream of course for added calories - you're wearing the same thing.
Pants? Forget it. Shorts are easier.
Button up shirts?
They looked great when you were leaner, but now, you feel as though one deep breath would cause the buttons to shoot off at the speed you can down a hamburger. And fries.
Of course, nothing else fits you.
You're stressing about your friends upcoming wedding, because your suit was tailored when you were leaner, before you became obsessed with the magic.
Yeah, might have to donate a few kilos.
3. People Are Questioning Your Weight
For someone who is known for being razor sharp all year round (of course you work overtime to create this perception) they question how the hell you've let yourself blow out like a cheap balloon.
"You've put on some weight?!" they say - unsure whether or not to finish the sentence but seemingly so shocked and possessed that they have to follow through with it.
It burns.
It hurts.
You remember when you showed them your abs months ago (right after a pump and in perfect lighting) and the look on their face as they scrambled for a pen and paper to write out your diet plan.
"Yep. All part of the process" you say with a large exhale, leaning on their wall gently, feeling as if anymore pressure will see your super-large frame of fresh muscle tissue burst right through it.
They point at your chubby face, and your seemingly vanishing vascularity, wondering how on earth this happened.
Well, if it really bothers you, get them into the gym and bust out a chest session.
This will ensure your chest, arms and shoulders, all blow right up to the point where they change their tune quicker than Madonna, and begin telling everyone how much fatter but BIGGER you've gotten.
But once you've played that card a few times, they and everyone else will wonder just how you'll look when all the excess fat is shaved off.
And yes, when you get asked that a few times after this little cycle, you'll know it's time to start getting lean again.
But don't stress....the next bulk is only just around the corner.
