You can either grow one or you can't.
But if you do sport one, a pentagon study has found a man's humble facial hair have a direct correlation to combat effetiveness.
The lead researcher of the study, Jonathon Burns, says they took 100 soliders, 25 of who were Special forces qualified and had beards, 25 who were Special Forces qualified WITHOUT beards and 25 who were regular Army and allowed to grow beards for the study. The last 25 were regular Army without beards.
All 100 of them were in direct combat in Afghanistan during the study.
WHAT THEY FOUND
Out of the 50 soldiers with beards, guess how many were wounded or killed?
Zip. Zero. None.
They also had better shooting accuracy than those with their facial hair trimmed off.
And as for the guys without beards?
"The soldiers lacking beards had a higher rate of weapons malfunctions and basically, shit went wrong most of the time,” Burns said.
Ah don't you love studies.
So as a result, CENTCOM - responsible for U.S. security interests in 20 nations, stretching through the Arabian Gulf region into Central Asia - have established a new rule, making it compulsory that all males grow beards.
Have a giggle at a statement from Commander General James Mattis, delivered to all troops in combat zones:
“The time has come for the Armed Forces to accept the facts, and the facts are that beards save lives. All this time it was speculated that Green Berets were better because of their superior and intensive training while in fact, most of it had to do with beards.”
And General Mattis goes on:
“It’s settled science. In light of this information we will enforce a rule requiring all males to wear at least one inch of facial hair at all times. Furthermore, any females able to grow facial hair are encouraged to do so as well.”
Yep. You really did read that last line.
After all, I guess all's fair in love and war.
Author
Dayne Hudson